I hadn't put much stock into it, because it included the word "try". I didn't want her to get too hopeful, because she has put a lot of that into her dad and has been disappointed time and time again. You see, Mini-Me was 'daddy's girl', but that was before our divorce, my kids and I moving to California, and his girlfriend of about five years.
The girls go and visit him in Las Vegas about four or five times a year. At first, it was very extensive: spring break, seven weeks in the summer, alternating Thanksgiving, and one week during Christmas break. That changed not long after he got with his girlfriend. He became someone totally different than they had known. He was now doing whatever his girlfriend wanted. Our kids, plus his son from his first ex-wife, were constantly getting into trouble for the dumbest things or things they didn't do. My ex-mother-in-law happened to come out that summer to see them, but her time was cut short due to the fact that my girls wanted to come home after three weeks. My husband and I had been there to see my family during vacation, they ended up coming home with us. Every year since, they have wanted to shorten the time with their dad. From seven weeks, it went to three, and now it's two. My girls have told me on many occasions that they want to visit him even less, and at times, they say they don't want to permanently.
They usually complain that they don't see their dad much due to work or sleep. They are not allowed to go outside, not even in the backyard, without an adult. They are usually left to their own devices for a few hours everyday while everyone is at work. The girls love their little sister, but when they are there visiting their dad, they don't feel like it's taking care of her is their responsibility, or that they have to play with her constantly just because she'll whine if they don't. Sometimes my brother and sister-in-law will ask them if they can come over, but my ex doesn't like to let them do that much. The last time he did, it was because he needed them to stay somewhere for the first two days of their visit due to his girlfriend having a hysterectomy and needing 'rest'. I get it that a person needs rest after surgery. Heck, I've had my share, too, but I never sent my kids off anywhere in case they were too noisy. But I digress. Two days later after she told me he would try to come, she said that he was coming.
He's arriving tomorrow and leaving Friday. He said that due to some shake-ups at work, he could only come for a day. This is also his year for Thanksgiving, but it looks like we're switching years. He'll have them for the next two. He asked me to make sure that the girls were okay with it. I didn't have to. They had told me a few weeks ago that they didn't want to go. And just a few months before that, they said that they didn't want to go at Thanksgiving at all anymore. They never tell him, because he lays the guilt trip on them. I never tell him, because that's just not something I would do.
My girls love their dad, but they're tired of being disappointed. They're tired of not seeing him enough when they are with him, not being able to do anything, or go anywhere. There are many more reasons they have said why they don't want to visit or why they are disappointed, but that's best left to the girls and my ex to work through.
It's funny. Mini-Me told me the other day that she's excited but not excited about him coming here. She said that she's not super excited that he's coming, she's just excited by the fact that he's actually coming out for something that she's involved in because he's never before. Here's hoping that he'll do the same for Miss La-Di-Da-Di someday.
